Talat-adega
was the most feared lake monster of them all.
He had a long body and an even longer tail but worst of all he had ten
legs. Talat-adega was fully equipped
with horns and spikes and was even capable of electric shock. Though he was rarely seen, all the fish in
the lake knew of him and knew how dangerous he was. The only problem was, the fish never saw
Talat-adega in action, they only heard the rumors that surrounded him.
One
small school of fish in the lake were all talking about the legends of Talat-adega. One fish spoke of a tale he had heard of the
terrifying lake monster.
“One
time, my brother was out swimming through the lake and heard the cries of a
poor fisherman not too far away. He was
confused at first because he didn’t know if the fisherman was crying out of
excitement from catching a fish or worse, was being taken under by
Talat-adega. Reluctant, the fish swam
closer towards the action so he could see what was going on. When he got close enough that he could see,
he swore he saw the lake monster leap out of the water, grab the fisherman by
the head, and submerge him into the lake, never to resurface again. My brother was so scared by the monster that
he swam away as fast as he could but he didn’t make it. The monster killed him before he could make
it back home,” he recalled.
All
of the fish in the school were terrified by the story and thought if they ever
saw the lake monster, they too would be doomed.
Out
of nowhere, one lone fish swam by after overhearing the story of the lake
monster killing the fisherman. The fish
said to everyone, “You are all mistaken.
The lake monster isn’t even a monster at all; in fact, he is here to
help us. He is a protector. His goal is to prevent fisherman from
catching us and eating us up! The story
you told of your brother, was not true.
I was there and saw the whole thing.
The lake monster only scared the fisherman away, he didn’t kill
him. And as for Talat-adega killing your
brother, it wasn’t he that did it.
Scared by what he saw, your brother swam so fast, constantly looking
over his shoulder, that he hit a rock and died immediately.”
After
hearing the truth about the lake monster, the fish were relieved and even
wanted to thank him for his services of protecting the smaller fish that
sometimes can’t defend themselves. So
off they went, the whole school of fish, to thank Talat-adega for protecting
them and to say sorry for thinking he was such a bad guy for so long.
 |
| School of fish |
Authors Note: This story was inspired by Origin of Rivers in Queen Charlotte Islands. In the story, a monster, Talat-adega is mentioned and I chose to turn him into a gentle giant as a lake monster. I wanted the monster to actually be a protector instead of dangerous because lake monsters have a bad name and maybe they are just trying to look out for their own. Who knows! Myths and Legends of British North America by Katharine Berry Judson (1917).
Brittan,
ReplyDeleteI really liked the twist you put on the story! A lot of times stories depict "monsters" as the bad guys to explain things they can't otherwise, but I think it's funny that people aren't the bad guys more often. Especially with stories that involve nature, it really only makes sense that the people would be the bad guys at some point!
Brittan,
ReplyDeleteI really liked the twist you put on the story! A lot of times stories depict "monsters" as the bad guys to explain things they can't otherwise, but I think it's funny that people aren't the bad guys more often. Especially with stories that involve nature, it really only makes sense that the people would be the bad guys at some point!
I love the idea of Talat-adega being the big friendly giant, so to speak. I like that the fish were able to overlook their judgments’ and actually look at the facts. I think the way the fish’s brother died was quite tragic. This kind of reminds me of the television show river monsters. Quite an original story, great job!
ReplyDeleteI think you did a great job of telling this story. The description of the lake monster is great and it makes it very easy to visualize what the monster may look like. I like the setting that you chose also, with the school of fish telling the stories to each other. The dialogue is well written too, and it makes it very easy to follow the story. As for the picture you chose, I think it suits your story perfectly. I’m glad that you chose to change the lake monster from a dangerous character to a helpful one.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the format goes, your story is very easy to follow. The paragraphs are well organized and everything flows well. The background of your blog page is also a good choice, as it is simple and it helps the reader focus on the story. Overall, I think your retelling of the story is very good.
I think you did a good job of telling this story. You took a character from a story and created a story based on the "other side of the story" and I am the type of person that is always one to question when I hear someone's side of a story because I know there are two sides to every story. So job with that. Also, I think you accomplished your goal of turning the monster into a protector of the other fish. Over all I think you did a good job.
ReplyDeleteHey Brittan! Awesome story! I love changing some of the big features, like you did with Talat-adega. I generally tend to think stories with a happier ending are much more fun to read. I think the genteel and kind nature of the "monster" were portrayed really well through your story. I also thought the dialogue that you used really helped the pace of the story.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story! I really liked that the fish were the ones swapping stories. I also liked that the monster was friendly and protected the fish. It was just unfortunate that one of the fish died in the story! It only made the whole thing more interesting, though, so it was cool that you added that. Your use of dialogue was perfect, and I think overall this story was very well put together. Can't wait to read more of your material!
ReplyDeleteLike the others, I too enjoyed reading your story! It was really light-hearted and easy to read. And I loved that you made the monster into a gentle giant. And like you mentioned in your author's note, maybe the monsters don't all have to be such bad guys! Great job!
ReplyDelete