Once upon a time, there lived a princess whose lifelong dream
was to marry a true prince. She had dated
many princes but none of them were exactly what she was looking for. She wasn’t going to settle for she was a young and beautiful princess who was from
the richest family and lived in the biggest castle in all the land.
The princess had long brown hair and big blue eyes and wore
the most beautiful cream dress with lace all over it. Sometimes, she would braid her hair to one
side and other times, she would leave it in perfect curls.
On a Wednesday afternoon, her parents set up her with a
prince they knew she would love. He was
beautiful. He had luscious brown hair
with brown eyes and just a little bit of scruff. He wasn’t typical of a prince but he was
everything the princess was looking for, at least in her parents eyes.
The prince took the princess out to brunch and they talked
for hours and hours. The prince knew
immediately that he loved her and wanted to be with her forever but the
princess didn’t feel the same way.
Though she enjoyed his company and thought he was a very kind man, she
didn’t feel the spark. After the date,
she told her parents she wasn’t sure about him and they were extremely
disappointed.
“Give him another chance,” her parents said. “You will go out with him again and you will
learn to love him.”
The princess didn’t want to but she had to follow her parents’
wishes so she went out with him once again.
She wasn’t in the best mood on their date because she didn’t
want to be there in the first place. She
played along and was the sweet princess everyone thought she was until she saw
something out of the corner of her eye.
Contrary to everything her parents would ever want for her,
the princess saw a man and knew it was love at first sight.
He was a regular guy and was nothing fancy. He wasn’t a prince and certainly wasn’t
deserving of a princess but at this point, she didn’t care. She wanted to be with him.
She left the prince at the table and immediately approached
the stranger. They looked each other in
the eyes and he knew it was love at first sight.
The princess left with this new love of hers and took him
straight to her parents. She told them, “Mom, Dad, I couldn’t go through with the prince you set up for me but I have found
someone else and we are in love.”
“Nonsense! You can’t be with this man for he isn’t even a
prince!” they said.
The princess was angry at her parents but she didn’t
care. She knew what she wanted and she
acted on it.
The princess and her new love ran off together and never
looked back. That same day, they were
wed.
 |
| Castle |
Author's Note: This story was based off of the original story, Princess and Pea. In the original story, a prince was looking for a true princess and in order to test her, a pea was placed underneath twenty mattresses to see if she could feel it and indeed, she could. He found himself a true princess. I wanted to switch my story and have a princess try to find a worthy prince but it turns out that a prince wasn't what she wanted after all. She wanted a regular man, not someone her parents set her up with. The story I wrote was short, sweet, and to the point because sometimes love is complicated but not for these two. I mainly used the first paragraph of the original story to tell mine and left out all of the stuff about the testing of a true princess or, in my case, a prince. Plus, it is possible for a princess to be with someone who isn't a prince and vice versa. I wanted my last story to be fun and uplifting and thought adding this to my portfolio would do just that.
Andersen Fairy Tales unit. Story source: Fairy Tales and Stories by Hans Christian Andersen, translated by H. P. Paull (1872).
Brittan, I enjoyed reading your story. First off, I liked the way you used a lot of descriptions to describe the characters. You used a countless amount of detail to help visualize both the princess and prince. Second, I liked how you ended the story. It was awesome that the princess overcame the views of her parents and left with the "average man." I also thought it was interesting and creative that you did a gender change from a prince to a princess. Overall, good job!
ReplyDeleteThis story reads very well! I kind of wish this is how people fell in love. Just raw, chemical attraction is all you need. In an ideal world... You also used a good amount of detail. I had a clear picture of the princess on her date with the prince. There were a couple of rearranged or missing words. Other than that though, your grammar was spot on.
ReplyDeleteHey, your story was very interesting. I do like all the detail that you provided. I would suggest reading your story out loud. You had a few grammar and punctuation mistakes. This story kind of reminds me of the new television show Arranged. Parents always have an opinion about what is best for their children. It is best for children to learn from their own mistakes and do things that make them happy. I am happy for the princess.
ReplyDeleteHey Brittan!
ReplyDeleteI really thought this story was great. I particularly liked that you chose to include a lot of dialogue. This helps break up the paragraphs and helps give life to your story. I thought that your paragraphs were well organized and your sentences flowed smoothly. I liked the picture that you chose to include. I also thought you did a great job with your authors note because it helped me understand your inspiration and perspective. Overall, good job!
Brittan this was very cute story! I loved it from start to finish. I like that you completely changed the story from the original. I always find it interesting when I read stories about love at first sight. I have never experienced this, and I found it interesting when I meet people who claim they fell in love this way. I like in the end the princess did not care who the man was, and just ran away. It showed how humble she is that she did not care if the man was prince or not.
ReplyDelete